Have you ever written an email you've regretted? You know, the kind that’s way more than a few sentences long… it’s more like several rambling paragraphs? It’s accusatory. You’re upset as you’re writing, shoulders shaking or maybe you’re crying as you type? It seems like a good idea to vent and you tell yourself you have a right to speak your truth, dammit! In that moment, you feel justified. When you hit send, there’s a feeling of satisfaction. You told them!
Doesn't that feeling usually evaporate quickly? It often turns to regret, even, once you've calmed down.
You wish you hadn't sent it.
These types of emails used to be my specialty until I took a step back and realized:saving to drafts is also an option.
If you’re feeling emotional, go ahead and type it. Sometimes it’s a good release to get the anger or hurt feelings out. Acknowledge the negative energy and write your rant. After it’s typed, instead of pressing send, save it to the drafts folder. Let it sit there and chill for 72 hours. Then, with a level head you can evaluate if you still want to communicate this way. You can ask yourself if this is how you want to present yourself and if this is the best way to be heard? You may decide to drop it all together. Or, the issue may be worthy of a verbal conversation now that you have your ideas together and a few days of perspective on the issue.
Everyone has their path, but the practices of yoga and meditation are what helped me learn to save to drafts. Building a sense of self-awareness via the physical practice of yoga was incredibly helpful. Daily meditation revealed to me that not every thought is true or rational. It’s still a journey, of course, but I find that more and more, I respond instead of react. No one’s received an email from me longer than a few sentences in a really long time.
This is one of the many ideas we work with in my public classes listed below. Private instruction or small groups can be tailored to exactly what you need to work on…both on the mat and off.